Introducing the Call of Duty: Black Ops Collection
It's 6:49am PST on Tuesday, November 9, 2010. I am powering through a bowl of generic-brand frosted corn flakes while simultaneously slurping from a giant mug of extra-strength coffee. It is early enough that my mind is not awake, and I seriously consider having another bowl of cereal, but this time using coffee instead of milk. The glow of my monitor is the only light in the room, and a single window is open on the desktop: the Black Ops unlock screen on Steam. “You shall not play!!" it says. So I sit. And I wait.
Then 7:00am PST happens. And I play. And I keep playing, until the sun is high in the sky, and I realize that I'm going to get in serious trouble if I don't get to work by 10. Enough time for one more match. Sweet! I get a gunship killstreak. This thing feels like cheating; it's like fishing with dynamite. 33 kills, 6 deaths. OK, now I can go!
Don't worry, I'm not writing this blog just to boast about my 1337 skillz. I'm writing this blog to officially announce the J!NX Call of Duty® Black Ops Collection. Yeah, you read that right, we're making Black Ops clothing! And you can get some right now!
As a Call of Duty fanboy, I've been awaiting this day for a very long time. When we started making World of Warcraft clothing, I thought it was neat. But I have been a Call of Duty fan since I dropped on the countryside of Normandy as part of the American Airborne. I have driven a tank through an army of Nazis, and fended off their reanimated zombie corpses. I have crept beneath an armored column, and sniped a vile terrorist from a mile away. I have rained death upon the battlefield from a circling gunship, and unleashed man's best friend upon my worst enemies. I have met legendary heroes like Captain Price and Soap MacTavish, and I have made death-defying leaps into a hovering choppers more times than I care to remember. No other series of games has made my knuckles turn so white, or my heart beat so fast. In my mind, no other games deserves its own line of clothing more than Call of Duty.
Our first offering on the Black Ops line is 6 t-shirts: 4 for men, and 2 for women. These designs have been specially engineered to engage the Call of Duty enthusiast. While they will not conceal you from a spy plane, nor invigorate you to run faster or longer, they will bestow pride and respect upon the wearer, essentially granting you an IRL Prestige level. Don your trim new t-shirt and walk confidently down the sidewalk, knowing that many of those who walk past are silently praising your awesomeness, and will immediately login to Black Ops when they get home, inspired by your bold choice in clothing.
And what's more, this is only the tip of the iceberg. I wish I was at liberty to say more, but this is Top Secret, eyes only, need-to-know type information. If I spilled the beans, I'd probably end up in the title screen from Black Ops. But that's a ways off, so don't worry about all that stuff yet. For now, just go check out our new products, and join us online for some rousing games matches of Domination, Demolition, Deathmatch, and all those other great modes. If you're a Steam player, send a friend request to Bonethug82 (don't ask), or join Brolo's Most Pit and I'll get into a match with you. If you're an XBox Live gamer, throw a friend request at Brolozovitch, and you'll find out just how much I suck with a gamepad.
Until then, keep your reflexes sharp, and remember not to use a noob-tube (unless they do it first!)
Our resident Troll-Slayer and Community Manager FuzzyCthulhu writes about WHATEVER HE WANTS MUHAHAHA. Mostly it's about games and J!NX though.
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