Here at Aperture Labs, we use science to create a better future for you and your family! Here is our newest innovation; The U.N.I.C.O.R.N.!Finally! There is no household task that is beyond the capabilities of our new domestic service unit. Cooking! Cleaning! Disposing of those unsightly dead bodies! Tucking the kids in at night! Clandestine Surveillance! Paying bills! The possibilities are endless!
We are now accepting applications for our early adopter program. All you need to do is fill out our simple 65 page order form and supply a DNA sample to apply for your very own U.N.I.C.O.R.N.
We've been told by our "Lawyers" that "Legally" we are "Obligated" to run the following disclaimer, but it's all pretty boring stuff, so feel free to disregard it.
WARNING! Do not disregard this disclaimer! Do not taunt, touch or feed U.N.I.C.O.R.N. Once activated, U.N.I.C.O.R.N. will need the blood of an innocent to fully engage its start-up process. Aperture Labs is not responsible for any deaths accidental or otherwise that may occur from this process. Do not keep U.N.I.C.O.R.N. near any open flames as the chemicals secreted from its pores are flammable. U.N.I.C.O.R.N. has a 30 day money back guarantee. To return U.N.I.C.O.R.N. contact your closest Aperture Labs facility to have a special U.N.I.C.O.R.N. extraction team set to your location. Aperture Labs Is not responsible for any property or bodily damage that may occur while retrieving U.N.I.C.O.R.N. (U.N.I.C.O.R.N. stands for Unmanned Neighing Independent Civilian Operational Recon Nacelle. Copyright Aperture Labs 2014. All rights reserved)
Congrats Froggey for being this week’s U.N.I.C.O.R.N. Pic of the Week!!
Be seeing you,
Pic of the Week
Long ago, in days of Yore, there was one called Skydog. With the power of his keyboard he bestowed the worthy few with their deserved praise! We carry on his legacy while he is busy sharpening up on his dragon-slaying and information tech dominance.