J!NXXXXXTREME HEALTH BARS
If you're tired of wasting valuable game-time feeding the weak husk that is your body, look no further than J!NXXXXXTREME Health Bars. They're Dangerously Effective.
To err is human, but to EXXXXXTREME is radical. If you find that the punishing routine of serious gaming is leaving your human meat-sack worn out and in need of rest, we've been able to develop an all-new 100% artificial, 10% safe, 352% effective way to combat what we call "weakness". To be able to the EXXXXXTREME level required to be the best there ever was, we've found a way to condense all of the required elements for marathon gaming sessions into an impossibly small space.
A single J!NXXXXXTREME Health Bar contains the equivalent sustenance as the following essentials: 24 Pack of Ramen, 10 Gallons black coffee, 30 bags of Unreasonably Hot Cheetars, 3 liters of Mountar doo, One metric ton of sugar, One box of Hot Pocketars, 10 mg vitamin b12, and assorted secret herbs, spices, and jet fuels.