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If you're holding the brand-new, wireless controller while your buddy has the 4-year-old, abused joystick with the broken X button, you're probably Player 1. Furthermore, we all have aliases, gamer tags, clans, and guilds, but at the root of all these fancy-pants monikers, your real identity is, and will always be, Player 1.

TYPE YOUR MIND (BUT DON'T BE A DICK)