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Let's face it: there are far too many noobs in the world. That's why the bio-alchemists at J!NX have created the ultimate in anti-noob technology: the Forthewomb 5000! Give your children the winning edge by gestating them in our revolutionary game-training spawning unit. They will be subjected to the most rigorous cross-platform, cross-genre game training ever conceived (pardon the pun), all before they leave the womb!

TYPE YOUR MIND (BUT DON'T BE A DICK)