Han shot first.
You and your netspawn ilk have likely heard, if not been entirely inundated, by the news: the launch of Diablo 3. Whether you're knee-deep in the Lord of Terror's guts already like our
very own Han, or sitting atop a fence post waiting to see if something better comes
along, you've heard.
At 12:01 P.M. members of the J!NX crew, and a goodly number of J!NX Guildies were
repeatedly exclaiming to one another that no one could belive that Diablo 3 was
finally launching in X minutes. I went as far as watching the countdown on Time.gov,
just to be sure. When the time struck, the mad dash to repeatedly spam your password
to get a login started. No one needs me to recount what happened on launch night for
the bajillionth time, but I wasn't in the very first wave of people who made it in before
all hell broke loose, so to speak.
Even though it took a little while for everyone to get logged in, at least being on vent with everyone
meant we were not alone in our quest to defeat the very first boss of Diablo 3, the
Lord of Launch-Day.
Making coffee round these parts is mighty difficult.
The J!NX fortress was a ghost town Tuesday and Wednesday as we all fell to the
sickness of the clickness. Hoards of loot called out to us in hues of blue, yellow, and
orange. As we waded through seemingly endless waves of mooks, we
wondered aloud on our various vent channels why these creatures seem mostly
comprised of piles of gold, weapons, and armor instead of the fleshy meat sacks the
seem to be.
Strangely though, no Valyrian steel.
I shudder to think how the Incorporeal spirits are lugging around all that swag.
Battle after battle we slogged over piles of white and grey items, scattered across the
bloody landscape. The sheer multitude of scattered equipment almost created the need for a
city dump in the areas where we razed a path of destruction. I personally have no clue how
the economy of Sanctuary works because there is no scarcity for weapons and armor
if you aren't too picky about the quality.
The wizard has frickin' lasers.
I wasn't the most dedicated of Diablo 2 player, having been far too knee deep in FPS games when it was in it's heyday. I've heard the tales of countless Baal crawls, so I had some high expectations. I played in a group
with my friend Daxam (mentioned previously), his brother, and our friend Eric. A well
rounded party of Monk, Deamon Hunter, Wizard, and my very own Witchdoctor. We worked pretty well together, reducing hell-minions into a nutritious paste. Then from nowhere Eric and his wild wizard appeared showed up and started sending bright
beams of kill-sauce at everything in sight. From this day forward I refer to all wizards
by the technical name "Captain Laserbeams".
Special effect nitpickery aside, I sat down
last night and felt the tingly click as Diablo 3's spiny talons attached itself to my
social life. I wish that with purchase I was given about 20 or 30 pre-paid postcards to send
to friends and family regretting the inevitable loss of contact that will ensue.
I could go on and on and on, but I've got some loot to gather.