Insert Keys and Eye Patches
Anybody working in the evil, underground J!NX lair can be a great source of content for my glog, but the congregation at lunch is where the true gems can be found. When you're deciding how to best utilize your brain cells, this minutia should be kept in temporary storage, but it is important nonetheless. Here are last week's dining topics:
Tuesday: The Insert Key
I look down while I type this and I see several keys that I am proud to tap ever-so-gently with my precision fingers. But, are all keys created equal? Sure, the "R" and "S" key have a place in everyone's heart; those are crowd favorites. Hell, even the tilde has a small fan base. But, what about the Insert key? Who uses this worthless waste of space and plastic? The only time you even think about it is when you accidentally fat-finger it while going for the Home key. Then, you watch in anger and horror as the cursor insidiously gobbles up half a sentence. I've been using a computer since their inception and I've never found a use for it. F you, Insert key! Why can't you be more like the Delete key! There's a long line of better keys that would love to take your place (see image).
Thursday: Goggles for Pirates
I know that pirates and ninjas are becoming old hat, but the topic does occasionally rear its ugly head. So, on that topic, WTF are pirates doing to keep losing their right eye? I don't want to turn this into a "Safety in the Workplace" rant, but those guys need to wear some f-ing goggles. Do all pirate moms buy BB guns at Christmas for their careless children? Or, maybe it's harder than I thought to use a fork on a rocking boat.
Friday: Wired Magazine Advertisements
There are 156 total pages (if you include both sides of the cover) in the latest issue of Wired magazine. Only 82 of those pages are actual content. Now, I know magazines need ads to cover costs, but there has to be a line. Are all magazines such a saturated heap of advertising pulp? Wired magazine has turned into what we like to call an advertisement enema. While it may sting a bit, you'll find that nothing can help you consume goods faster and more efficiently than this little invention.