Community Nooch's Comic Reviews

Seriously, I need a "the" in my name

Mysterius the Unfathomable #1
Mysterius the Magnificent by Jeff Parker and Tom Fowler

Please take your seats; class will now begin. For today's lesson, we will be focusing on a major pet peeve of Mr. Nooch. We begin with a preface that I mean no offense to those of you who may not be aware of being in violation of the regulation that we will be exploring. I am merely pointing out the booger in your nose so that you can remove it before anyone else sees it. Here it goes: "should of", "could of", and "would of" are not accurate. Yes, I understand what you are trying to say, you're just not saying it right. What you are actually intending to express is "should've", "could've", and/or "would've"; all of which are contractions of should/could/would and "have". I can't think of any context in the English language where the "of" version would be proper syntax. Personally, I think that syntax is everything. It definitely is with machine and computer languages, so it bothers me that we don't apply the same importance to the language we speak every day (at least in some countries).

I don't know if anybody really cares about that, but like I said, I'd like to at least bring it to your attention before you type incorrectly in the future. Having proper grammar, syntax, and spelling in your work lends credibility to what you're saying. No one will take you seriously if you spell it "defiantly" when you meant to write "definitely". There are some other things that I've noticed reading various message boards, forum posts, blogs and other areas where content is user-generated. It's a little distressing because that's pretty much an indication of the quality of education that many people are receiving. Granted it's not an overall gauge, as someone may be strong in other areas.

It's just disturbing to me how pervasive spelling and grammar errors are across the Wide World Intarwebs. I'm not talking about the stuff that is always complicated, like whether or not my quotes go before or after my comma. Or the proper usage of who versus whom. Or when a semicolon is appropriate. Stuff like that I can let go. But basic stuff like spelling it "branes" instead of "brains" (and not just for stylistic irony) is just wrong. I'm not hating on the perpetrators, rather the education system that was behind it. If it sounds like I'm coming off as elitist, you may not be completely off the mark. My degree was in English, so my standards for that sort of thing may be skewed. Whatever the case, the "should of" thing is an easy fix, so I can consider that my good deed for the day/week/month.

Now onto bigger and better topics, namely, comic books. This week (and, I guess also for last week, since I didn't put one up. Hey, it was my b-day, so I took a day off to play video games!), I bring the Mysterious The Unfathomable #1. It's written by Jeff Parker who has recently written some stuff for Marvel, and used to illustrate for various other publishers in the past. The story is cool enough, about this guy who seems to have some supernatural/paranormal abilities. At one point, he takes a trip to hell and leaves someone there. He doesn't intend to do that, so he's not like a jerk or anything. But then he kind of just shrugs it off, so he's not particularly friendly. If you haven't guessed, I'm speaking of the titular character, Mysterius. By now, you guys know how I love to use "titular" as often as I can, so add another tick to that column. Mysterius isn't his real name, as he feels that name hold great power, and you shouldn't just be giving that away.

What's really catching my attention here is the artwork by Tom Fowler. He's not going for photorealism here, rather almost a caricature-like style. You might recognize some his work from some Mad Magazine stuff he did last year. His figures are intentionally disproportionate from Mysterius' bulbous nose, to Delfi's (his assistant) junk in the trunk. "Bulbous" and "junk in the trunk" are also terms that I like to use frequently, so add two more ticks. I particularly like the choice of giving Mysterius a bit of a gut, even though he's supposed to be this mysterious (of course) and enigmatic charmer. It gives me a bit of hope to be equally mysterious and enigmatic with my own little growing belly. BTW, the guys over here have been giving me a hard time about it, as until recently, I used to be the skinny guy on the crew. I have to spend more time on the Wii Fit, even though it makes me feel bad for being "much weaker" than I should be. You know what, Wii Fit? I'm exactly as strong as I should be for a guy who reads comics and plays video games in all his spare time, so take that, you self-righteous exercise machine from self-esteem hell!

While I'm finding that I have some self-image issues, Mysterius doesn't seem to have a problem with that. In fact, he finds himself terribly awesome. In the course of the book, he's referred to as The Unfathomable, The Great, and the Magnificent. It takes some bowling balls to be able to able to walk around with such lofty monickers. Maybe that's the key to success. Just add a "The _______" to your name, and then you'll have to live up to it. Maybe I'll call myself the "Nooch the Mediocre" to start off, so that I can hit that level pretty quickly. Then I can move on to "Nooch the Slightly Above Average". I guess now I can go with "Nooch the Grammatically Correct albeit Stylistically Unconventional".

Who should read this book:
People who conjure spirits of the dead.
People who are pananormal/supernatural investigators.
People who converse with anthropomorphic steam engines.

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Nooch's Comic Reviews

More people should be reading comic books, dammit. As the resident comic book elitist, Nooch has made it his personal quest to get more noobs heading into their own dimly-lit comics dungeon every Wednesday to peruse the vastly under-rated world of sequential art.