Late one night, while manning the J!NX stronghold Beacon for Ocular Gauging of Greater Undefined Space, or as we like to call it the B.O.G.U.S., we intercepted a transmission from an entity identifying itself as X-5. Once we were able to determine that the likelihood of Earth's destruction as a result of official interaction with this space being to be below the acceptable 49% threshold, we sent rendezvous coordinates to this mysterious X-5.
Some on the team were concerned that we may be acting rashly by inviting a strange space-being into the Stronghold, but the potential knowledge we could gain would allow us to produce items years beyond our world's capabilities. We've spent months working with the X-5 unit developing some of the products you see here, and we can confidently say that without space robot intervention these products would be merely EXXXXTREME, and not the majestic EXXXXXTREME collection that they are.
This collection of J!NX EXXXXXTREME Gaming products are as extreme as legally possible, and in some cases, more so. Prepare yourself for the products of yesterday's future...today!
J!NXXXXXTREME Health Bars If you're tired of wasting valuable game-time feeding the weak husk that is your body, look no further than J!NXXXXXTREME Health Bars. They're Dangerously Effective.
RealPet™ Having a pet can be a lot of work, but with the new RealPet™, it can work for you. Equipped with Sata 8, Bluetooth compatibility, and a system agnostic USB 5 connection this dog is nothing to shake a stick at.
Work Out Controller Next time some uppity tweener challenges you to "FIGHT ME IRL BRO", you'll be ready to make sure to protect your K/D ratio with extreme prejudice. Workout mouse coming soon!
Call In Sick Voice Distortion Machine For some reason bosses seem to insist that to take a sick day you should actually be ill. No longer will your game launch-day plans be foiled by arbitrary requirements like those.
Utility Loincloth For the busy Barbarian on the go, the The Sactac tactical loincloth provides the mobility you need for any scenario so you'll never be caught with your pants down.
Giant Pocket Tee With the amount of gadgets we carry these days, and the increasing size of said gadgets, J!NX has decided to bring you the tee of the future... today.
I have done what I can to prepare you for the coming of the X-Units. Should you be foolish enough to ignore these essential pieces of equipment, you shall find no pity on the day we invade, nor shall you find anything but your inevitable doom. You earthbags are not worthy of my EXXXXXTREME Technologies, but it is my hope that with access to them you may put up an amusing fight...
See you soon.